The Florida Code
When giving directions in Florida, you should always start with
the words, "take I-75, take I-4 or take I-95..."
If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely
cannot drive between the hours of 6 AM - 10 AM and 4 PM - 7 PM.
This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No
Exceptions....
Freeways can only go north and south...Not east and
west.
Tolls are a fact of life down here, the state has to make money,
so deal with it!
I-275 (Tampa area) will always be under construction...that's
the law and there is nothing anyone can do about it,
period!
'A1A' and 'ALT A1A' are the same road.
Traffic lights are not timed and never will be.
We measure the distance we travel in time - not miles.
If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of
Florida without seeing an orange 'Bob's Barricade', you're lost!
If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly
acceptable to back up.
Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo
= Rt. 60) just for the hell of it and also for the pleasure we get from reaction
of visitors when we give them directions.
Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the
intersection, eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on
red.
Know the difference between SunPass , Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel and
Sun Trust.
Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as
business casual.
Your blinker means nothing.
Spanish is our first and second language.
It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.
We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't
be stupid and try to feed or pet one.
When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have
advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian
unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up
plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer, and potato
chips.
You know how to spell Okeechobee.
There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street and
Avenue.
A true Floridian does NOT own a boat.
They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don't
have to deal with any of the headaches.
You weren't born here.
If you were, you're angry that everyone else has moved
here.
There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on
almost every corner - with more being built every
day.
When picking up a woman on South Beach, always check for an
Adams apple.
It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday
decorations.
There is a city called 'The Villages' where 77,000 old people
live that drive golf carts and dance in the
streets.
Jupiter is a city, not a
planet.
Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays--not
weeknights or weekends-- that's for the working
folks.
There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also
a football team.
You can't say; 'this is how we did it up north'.
If you think that way, then go back up north.
Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both
ways.
No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever
be able to figure out your property taxes.
Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But inside any restaurant or business
it's 65 degrees.
There are three thing you need to survive a Florida winter: long
sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and the ability to mock all those extremely pale
visitors with the bright pink 'Florida Tans'.
The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first
one to rat you out if you are violating water
restrictions.
the words, "take I-75, take I-4 or take I-95..."
If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely
cannot drive between the hours of 6 AM - 10 AM and 4 PM - 7 PM.
This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No
Exceptions....
Freeways can only go north and south...Not east and
west.
Tolls are a fact of life down here, the state has to make money,
so deal with it!
I-275 (Tampa area) will always be under construction...that's
the law and there is nothing anyone can do about it,
period!
'A1A' and 'ALT A1A' are the same road.
Traffic lights are not timed and never will be.
We measure the distance we travel in time - not miles.
If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of
Florida without seeing an orange 'Bob's Barricade', you're lost!
If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly
acceptable to back up.
Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo
= Rt. 60) just for the hell of it and also for the pleasure we get from reaction
of visitors when we give them directions.
Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the
intersection, eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on
red.
Know the difference between SunPass , Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel and
Sun Trust.
Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as
business casual.
Your blinker means nothing.
Spanish is our first and second language.
It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.
We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don't
be stupid and try to feed or pet one.
When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have
advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian
unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up
plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, beer, and potato
chips.
You know how to spell Okeechobee.
There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street and
Avenue.
A true Floridian does NOT own a boat.
They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don't
have to deal with any of the headaches.
You weren't born here.
If you were, you're angry that everyone else has moved
here.
There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on
almost every corner - with more being built every
day.
When picking up a woman on South Beach, always check for an
Adams apple.
It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday
decorations.
There is a city called 'The Villages' where 77,000 old people
live that drive golf carts and dance in the
streets.
Jupiter is a city, not a
planet.
Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays--not
weeknights or weekends-- that's for the working
folks.
There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also
a football team.
You can't say; 'this is how we did it up north'.
If you think that way, then go back up north.
Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both
ways.
No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever
be able to figure out your property taxes.
Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But inside any restaurant or business
it's 65 degrees.
There are three thing you need to survive a Florida winter: long
sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and the ability to mock all those extremely pale
visitors with the bright pink 'Florida Tans'.
The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first
one to rat you out if you are violating water
restrictions.